standing outside of the box made me see it on a diff perspective:
i have lost friends bec of this,
seen my weakness nd emphasized my strength..
no matter what are the troubles, miay it be small or big, it doesnt matter anymore..just let it go:)
for the record i have forgiven you, you dont need to apologize, i dont need explanations..you dont owe me anything:)
being with you was one of the most happiest moments of my life, that even @ my darkest hours makes me hope that someday I will have more moments like that.
I expect you to be happy from all of these, I just wish one day with you..if God would be listening,just one day..just you & I.We have to bring down the whole foundation of who we were in order to find our new us.I just wish in that time you are with me @ my side..
Even you dont say anything at all, I do understand you and even a lot of people were throwing a lot opinions at the end of the story nobody knows u more than I do..That everybody was putting me into different directions, what to think or say but I wouldnt allow myself to be bec I know what makes me happy.
I am sending you happy thoughts everyday..that in light of things you will see that evrything was ok.That its ok not to be ok, that its ok that we feel confused and overwhelmed..that we feel unloved and abandoned..and that we feel that sense of loss..that there are times we cant explain what we want, what we feel and why we do the things we do..Even I cant explain why do I feel the same way as I do despite & inspite of.I still love you..it doesnt makes me sad when i think of that..it makes me happy that I still feel the same way bec I know I loved you with all my heart, I was willing to let go not bec of ego but bec I understand..I am not afraid of what will tomorrow bring anymore..come what may:)
The distance was a great struggle for both of us bec I was more afraid that the distance would make us grow apart..eversince you went away you have changed..it was like seeing a different side of you, so I have changed bec I have to adapt with that..when you kissed me goodbye at the airport, i promised to myself I will be strong for the both of us, I didn't shed a tear when u went away, just like when you said you let me go, i didnt shed even one tear..because I promised I will be strong for the both of us.
I did not live a miserable life with you that is one thing I have to disagree with what u have said, I did not..I am fully aware of the consequences of my choices when I choose you..mhrap pigilan magmhal lalo na kung ang mamahalin ay ikaw..You dont have to stand in the shadow of your past anymore, you were never bad at me..I have not been bad @ you as well.I want u to be proud of yourself our relationship before was loved & envied by many..keep ur chin up by..there was nothing to be ashamed of..do not listen to what other people say, follow what your heart is telling you..dont let your mind cloud it..
Do what I do, when you feel sad & lonely just close your eyes, take a picture of the most happiest moment of your life..in 5 yrs time envision the person you want to be and the people you want to be with and say it outloud..those things will exactly happen..believe me.
I am saying these things because I will not allow myself to talk about the past when we meet again..sigurado ako mgkikita tayo 2..i now we will..I am saying goodbye to the old us also..to all the plans and hopes and will begin in making new ones.I am happy I was never miserable, I was always in content with you..always..if in case we meet again or in case you talked to me, lam ko you will in time..let go of the old baggage..i will give you the floor to explain if you want to, I am just going to listen.Do not always be in despair..kilala kita masyado ka emo, na para ikaw ang pnka aping tao sa mundo..hihihihii!ok lang yun sasamahan nmn kitang maging api sbay tau mag audition sa ABS CBN:)Lagi ka na lang hurting kapag nkasakay ka, lagi na lang un ang pattern sa buhay m , khit ako nakikita ko at napapansin k un.A part of you let me go not bec of fear I will get hurt but bec of fear you will get hurt na baka along the way di kita maintndhan nd along the way i cant accept who you are as a person.
God was wise..we met when we were both hurting..nkilala natin ang isat isa how we mend our hearts..God gave us 10yrs apart to grow..matuto nd have our own roots..then he allowed us to seperate again for us to find ourselves, to know how it is love..to know that the language of love was not the words...it was not the I love you's..it was SACRFIFICE..God is wiser than us..trust in him because I do.God will bring out the best in both of us..the worst in both of us..but be patient bec He will set the right time..He knows best..he is preparing us both for something bigger than this...
forgive me for all my setbacks..I am sincerely apologizing for that..and...
As I always say..you have all the things you need its a high time you fight.:)
love,
by
