HAPPY NEW YEAR/ GONG XI FA CAI!
It's been
almost year since I wrote on my blog and I haven't updated you of my
whereabouts during that time. I was doing a little bit of soul searching
and NOW I am back in the game. I got lots of ideas to write and things
to share. I am soooo excited!!! Since yesterday was the start of the
year 2014 (according to Chinese calendar:) and this day is the first of
the love month, it's befitting for me to write about the most favorite
topic in the world- LOVE.
I have shied away from dating
for at least 2 and half years now but it doesn't mean I have stopped
hoping for the love ever after. I am a self confessed hopeless romantic
and my thousand romance books would be the clear proof of that. I love
the happy endings on those books since I haven't had my own happy ending
yet. But instead of looking for it and taking actions on my own: I
chose to wait for my own version.
What do I do while
waiting? Honestly, that is the biggest challenge versus hopping from one
date to another. I was in the moment of my life that I wouldn't like to
waste my time in trying to figure out if the guy fits in my life. For
me if the person is meant to be in my life, I wouldn't have seconds
thoughts about him and the relationship that we have. Since I choose to
do the hard part; below are the things I am doing while waiting:
1.
The sweetest love that you could receive in your life is the LOVE that
you could give to yourself. - Before I was a huge people pleaser, I did
everything for other people while putting aside myself. I thought then
that was love but in my process of waiting I have learned- it was
exactly the opposite. I can't give away LOVE to other people if I don't
have love for myself. I can't give away emotions if I don't possess it
in the first place. I was critical, uptight, controlling, unforgiving
and cynical with my own mistakes. In my waiting I have seen that just
like others I am capable of making mistakes and it's okay to have a
malleable eraser handy just in case people around me wouldn't accept
that I am divinely imperfect.
2. Reconnect your
relationships in chronological order: GOD, Yourself, Family, Friends -
In my previous life (if I was even existent at that time), my order of
relationship was this: Friends, Family, GOD, Myself. When I experienced
my first heartache, I changed the order: Family, Friends,GOD, Myself.
Then series of heartache happened in my life that was wrecking havoc in
my relationship to others and myself. I stopped the habit of picking
right from a previous relationship and moving on right away to the next
one. Whilst, I changed the order: GOD, Yourself, Family, Friends. Why do
I say that you have to prioritize GOD first? I have thousand of things
to share why but I know one valid thing that could sum it all: GOD is
LOVE. Love itself doesn't exist if there's no GOD in it. He gave up his
only son for you, for us:so our sins can be redeem. If that act alone
doesn't show what genuine and unconditional love is for you; Man! truly
you got to try do some soul searching. As stated in 1 John 4:7, Dear
friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who
loves has been born of God and knows God.
3. Get to
know the real YOU. - Each person is unique and each unique quality is
beautiful. In the course of my life, I have missed out on things I want
& need to do. Its either I wasn't given the opportunity or I
deliberately make a pass on it. It made me weary, anxious and empty. Its
not enough to do the things that I was expected to do or things that
will make me feel okay or safe. I was enlightened that safe wasn't me, I
dare myself to allot time. Yes! for most of us time means money but I
have got to give a huge time to lick my wounds and grieve for what was
lost. Spend a time to the things I need then the things I want. Lastly, I
am in the process of challenging myself in conquering my fears. I have
seen that I am very much capable to do things I want and triumph above it. I became a
freelance visual artist with that my emotional and mental processing works
best if it was freely expressed visually. I was sensitive but
strong and persistent; I can also graciously have way with words to
express my frustrations with solid and vivid impact. I have yet seen
that even I love chocolates, pistachio. cookies and cream for my ice
cream; but through and through I am a vanilla ice cream kind of woman-
sweet, warm, affectionate and indelible.
4. Have a
positive outlook and be grateful in life.- The good thing about me is I
am a positive person, even my blood proves so (B+= Be Positive). Its a
big difference if you see life in a positive way, things happen for
you. It takes a lot of hard work though. In an advanced world such ours,
where social network status dictate what you are as a person and
measures what kind of success a person has.It is hard to stay positive
but if you begin as simple as smiling towards other, being gracious on
small act of kindness; it is not impossible. Instead of complaining of
things that you don't have, whining of struggles that you currently
experience; how about be grateful for simple things that you often took
for granted such as the air you breath or the amount of water you drink.
Think of others who don't have what you have and pray for them. Start
eating foods that gives positive boost in your body (as I go along I will write about these healthy foods). Be active,I found out that running and doing yoga helps me to clear my mind. Don't be afraid in doing things that makes you feel loved and special. You don't need someone to show those emotions but rather all you need is yourself.
So far these 4 things is my basic foundation where I base my decisions when I am doing my waiting. At the end of the day, the measure of having your ever after is not on achieving it but on what you do on its process. Happy waiting everyone!!
