..one last time...

i haven't  written in here for a long time...

maybe because a lot of things happened ..it became really overwhelming for me...

i thought he was different from any other man, maybe when I made a choice I felt he was different...FELT...that was my  mistake back then..i relied on my feelings..not on what was right.he went on and gave me so much attention and expressed so much love in so many ways.made so many promises because he was happy..i always thought maybe he was happy because of me but later on i did realized he was happy with the events not with the person..

i made a choice not be trampled and step on..i made a choice to turn my back and bring out the best in me despite the situation..i made a choice to wait for everything to transpire on its own time..my principle at that time up until now was "everything has a season, this season is maybe not for us..."

he had a girlfriend again..maybe i was bit over analyzing the situation but the good thing about this was my mind is working not my feelings..i was able to discern for myself that he wasn't right for me..he doesn't deserve me he was brave enough to face the truth he can't handle it..looking at the pace of his relationship now and how strong they were..I was looking at myself..it like a mirror..we may be different persons but I was looking at me almost a year ago..we don't look alike but the manner of how he deal with his relationship now it seemed like a continuation of what we have...

a part of me raises the question "how come you moved on so fast at that rate and that depth?" ..maybe  a part of me felt i dont want to look at him maybe a year fr now the same way he looked at me when knika left him..because looking at his relationship now i felt something was wrong..but i choose not to say anything..

in both our lives there are no mistakes only decisions..if its wrong to choose myself in the process then I am  guilty for that...i dont want to relieve the moments or justify each of his actions because right here in my life i felt everything is as it should be..

if this would help him get over me so be it..if this will make him a better man so let it..if this will make his dreams come true, good for him..if this would allow him to let me go then fine..

because i realised something i served a purpose in his life..if he will not make this on his own that purpose will be left in vain