the day he broke me

he broke me...

he did that by not talking for 4 days straight then a single  message in Facebook ...

he broke me and he broke us...

i can't explain anything, it felt like someone pull that trigger in my head..

i was yearning to clutch to any thing...my soul was looking for something to reach out to..

i had my phone in my hand which  both bought in Robinson's Manila..i called his mom..

i didn't know why of all persons she is the one i have to call  but my impulse was "call her"...

the phone was ringing and when she answered on the other line, all i can say was "--- nakipag--hiwalay-- po siya-- saken--" i don't know how i uttered those words, but my breath was shallow i have to take it down to syllables..then she asked me "bakit naman?"--my dreaded word "why?"   because in reality i don't know WHY?

this is my life..

i fell in love one time..

i got engaged..

we prepared the wedding...

he left for us but he promised to come back for us..

i trusted him even my heart say don't allow him to leave..

he was there and i was here...

we tried to make it work..

3 months later he called it off the wedding and he broke up with me..

then it was all broken...

of reasons i dont understand..of reason he refused to say..maybe he said it but i don't quite get it...maybe tomorrow i can digest his words..maybe weeks later he can think about it...you know my response to him "immediate shock, asking him whats wrong maybe we can fix it then i gave him the space that he needs..that was it..

does it make me a less of a person if i dont beat the crap out of him..if i stay still and be quiet..maybe we both need time..maybe THIS WAS NOT OUR TIME..