"Why are you still single?"...that's a 50 kgs. vintage question that was always bombed at my face. Why vintage? It was an ongoing question ever since I reached the age of 27; the main reason why I never resorted to buy an iPod but instead stayed faithful with my Sony Walkman mp3(which is in pink:0 and I am absolutely crazy about up until to this date!) was it has an audio recorder, which can record the multitude events this questions dropped unto me from somebody's heavenly mouth.
Much to my dismay, my road to UNsinglehood was not in easy track and I do admit I am bit confused if I should feel bad when asked by those questions.
Even the fish vendor at our village queued " Sa ganda mo na yan, wala ka pa din asawa?!" Do not fret, you are not the only one who was surprised, in some quiet times I do ask the same question. :)
I felt somewhat annoyed when SOME uses the physical appearance to correlate intimacy in relationships.If you are pretty, you are obliged to have a partner; people questions you and WORST people would say "siguro maganda lang sya..". I don't know why physical appearance would correlate wether you should have or not a SOMEONE in your life. I find it cruel because in a way, they meant to say was that the NOT-SO BEAUTIFUL can't have a boyfriend or a husband (wala ba karapatan ang di gaano kagandahan na mgkaroon ng lovelife?!)C'mon!I have seen beautiful, confident women who are single but yet they felt they are not lacking on anything!
My dear cousin would always say"..lahat na nasa iyo, boyfriend na lang ang KULANG!".It was as if my completeness depends on somebody else?I love being alone and doing my alone times like travelling or going to movies. In most of these times, it felt like it was the most rejuvenating moments of my life..it was something personal that when someone tries to to intervene or ride along; I felt a strong DEPRIVATION of self. How can I be the happy version of me towards you if I am not happy being alone?
"Why single ka pa din sa FACEBOOK?" Since the social networking has been a craze, the relationship status of all people (including me:) went havoc.There have been utmost curiosity towards social statuses but never in depth of emotional attachment.
I have survived the rummage of these questions.. at one point with a quirky smile =) or intellectual analysis of my past mistakes or passive-avoidance on circumstances that might have a sequel or loud sigh with a thought "ewan k nga bakit..."
But I will be honest to you today, " Why am I SINGLE?"....because it was my constant choice. As plainly I can put this: I CHOSE TO BE SINGLE.
In the matter of why am I choosing to be single, that my dear, I have a lot to say..
I wasn't bad with men, in most times I find myself in situations men get attracted without me being aware of it. I am slow witted in that circumstances.Men loves to give compliments in gifts or words but I prefer what not my ears could hear or my eyes could see. I don't like easy men who get carried away with their emotions. I appreciate the words and the thoughts but I prefer the courtesies that go with these.
Reminder BOYS: Women are not an easy catch! DO NOT do something that will connote you as EASY, you are not created for that. God sacrificed his only son, Jesus, for you..because you are worth it! Jesus walked carrying that heavy cross because you are worth sacrificing for..not only the HARDWORK but SACRIFICE! I will quote Leo Buscaglia for this, " Sacrifice is ultimate language of LOVE".
Going back =), my point was I never lack admirers and it would be easy to have a boyfriend in my circle if I choose to but yet I choose to be Single. Some may ask : Am I being too selective? NO. I know I am not a perfect person and I am not looking for a perfect man. It's just that despite of those available men, I just haven't found the guy who would make me fall in love and the one that fits right into who I am as a person.
So if in case men gets intimated with this, "That guy won't be." I’m waiting on a guy who is deeply in love with Jesus. A real man, a man who knows His God and who follows him to the ends of the Earth. A man willing to “swim against the tide”, as Elisabeth Eliot puts it.
" I’m waiting on a guy who shares the same passions with me, who is as adventurous as I am, crazy, spontaneous, humorous and compassionate and has a heart for missions. "
Sometimes, it’s hard not to play the pity game when people keep telling me that I’m this and that. If I’m what they say I am, then why am I single and why won’t men pursue me? It can be disheartening to know that people have certain expectations of you and yet you’ve just never lived up to it. But when I consider the past mistakes I’ve done in my life with regard to relationships, and when I realize how I was redeemed from those mistakes, I have a strong sense of being in the RIGHT.
I am still waiting..I am near 29 and I have seen wide eyed people who criticise "malapit ka na mawala s kalendaryo!" . To whose calendar should I follow? yours or mine? I have learned the painful strife of following my own calendar and you can never expect me to follow yours ( I am much too bull headed to live in other people's standards.)
I would rather wait on God's timeline and his perfect timing and for that man that he blessed for me. I would rather wait actively than decide to have a boyfriend now just because of pressure or I felt like I am missing out on something. The last thing I need is another mediocre guy because I am not mediocre. And when I get into a relationship, this time I want it to be my LAST.Heartbreaks are such a waste of passion, time, energy. Who wants that? I’m in it for the long haul. I don’t like dating around and testing the waters. I would quote Psalm 37:4 " Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. " He will provide what I need:)
To cut it short:), I am a beautiful, extraordinary woman who is waiting on her handsome, godly and extraordinary man. I haven't met him and he hasn't met me, so that is why I am SINGLE:) But I can't wait to change that Facebook status!
